Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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