So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
