great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We're too hungover to prance.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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