Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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