ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
