so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
