i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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