i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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