....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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