when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
