I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
