Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
