If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
