11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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