he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was not drunk enough for that final.