pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Farmville is her only friend.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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