Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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