I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
