I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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