some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
