My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
birth control should be required to get into college
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
