I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
