um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
