thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
