im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
