How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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