Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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