yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
