come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
