I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
