i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
