I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You can't motorboat a personality
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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