how can u be prego again
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
