Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
