Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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