True but thats because hes a fetus.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
