I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
