Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Its about making memories worth repressing
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
