I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
