I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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