he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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