i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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