she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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