the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
