But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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