whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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