And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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