I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
