I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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