when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
