I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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