Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
