I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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