Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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