What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize