Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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