she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is Oprah even human
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
