i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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