I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
