So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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